WE Inspire

yesterday i attended the Women Entrepreneurs (WE) Inspire Conference here in OKC.  it was pretty awesome to listen to so many successful, powerful women speak about how they got to where they are.  determination and confidence, as well as fear and desperation were recurring themes from all the speakers.  it's amazing what you can do when you believe it's do-able.  these women all own and run multi-million dollar companies now, but most started out in a similar spot that i'm in - jobless, broke and uncertain about the future.  and interestingly enough, many of their businesses were started during recessions or economic hardships.  necessity breeds success?

so basically what i learned is that in order to succeed:  i'm going to have to work HARD; believe in myself ALOT- get super confident and sell myself, my talent, and my products; ask for help & accept it; and be really confident.  did i mention confidence?  turns out, i'm the only one who can make things happen for me, and if i don't buck up and realize that i'm awesome - who else will?  :) 

so in the wise words of Stuart Smalley, "I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with..." 

yep, i'm going to do good work today and make bags people want to buy!  because, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!"

we're going to be POSITIVE! positive, positive, positive!

i had kind of an epiphany last night, with the help of a heart-to-heart with my best buddy/would-be-soulmate if she were a dude.  here it is - the RIGHT choice is very rarely the EASY one.  good things are hard.  the good, smart decisions aren't always fun.  but they are better.

it started out as a discussion about a nameless someone to whom i've been considering giving a second chance.  and i've made the smart, hard, (and yes, lonely) decision that it's NOT going to happen.  i mean, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result, right?  so, if a dude hasn't changed, why would things between us change?  but hell, i haven't changed either!  can't project all the blame.  anyway, in the long run, being alone is better than feeling like you're letting yourself down.  so i have really made the decision - and i'm going to stick to it.  too often i think, "oh this isn't smart...but i'll do it anyway because it's fun." well, not this time suckers!

this applies to life in general too.  if i want to get anywhere in this temporary little life, i'm going to have to start making some changes!  make the right choices - develop good habits.  and get off my big kiester and DO things instead of TALKING about doing them.

so, in that vain, here is a photo of the bag i just finished.  i think this is my new favorite:

more to come....

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

well, i had a great weekend with the gang...the change of scenery was definitely a good thing. the frenzied shoppers, crazy weather and diabolical traffic weren't so great, but what're ya gonna do? the gals and i had profound discussions about how much life has changed and how it will soon be a different world for one of us; and how "great" 30 has been for everybody. yea, i had to give my BFFs a bit of hell on that one since in my 30th year i've been dumped, lost my job, and killed my car. (heheh, love you BMac!) there was also lots of silliness and flapdoodle about farting dogs, the good ol' days, and other random things.  it was time well spent, i tell you.

and i'd like to make note of a milestone in my life: i found an AMAZING pair of shoes...and didn't buy them.  yep, the girl with a closet full of shoes actually made a wise financial decision and didn't add to the collection.  this is serious, folks- because i really wanted them!  actually, i'm kind of obsessed.  and maybe i've spent about 10 hours since i got home trying to find them somewhere, anywhere online.  alas, they were the phantom shoe - apparently the Rack had the only pair in existence. and yes, i grumbled for about 4 hours after i put them back on the shelf...boy, i have really amazing friends to put up with me!

ok, ok...enough with the shoes.  (but they were so great!)  i had to go to the Unemployment office yesterday.  what an experience, yet again.  the highlight of the meeting was after saying i might be interested in teaching, the "employment specialist" referred me to an Accounting Professor position at a university.  oh yes (insert sarcasm), i've always been interested in Accounting...though i'm not really good with numbers or how they go together, i do have a calculator...i should be qualified, yeah?  good grief. 

today was good though.  despite some technical sewing difficulties, and the beautiful warm spring day, i made another bag.  i also cleaned my house AND went to the gym!  productivity is great. but by the end of the week, i must have 10 more bags done.  it's well beyond time to get serious.

TGIF

well, i'm off today to spend the weekend with friends.  road trip (albeit a short one), two of my best buds, a bit of shopping (without spending any money- ugh!), and some wining and dining.  should be a good time!  and we're off soon, so i gotta go pack! ciao, blog world!

ready...set...sew!

yesterday i went down to Norman and browsed around some of the cute little shops at Campus Corner.  i definitely got inspired...i want a piece of the handmade-nieche-market pie!  there could be so many opportunities to get my stuff in stores down there.  well, everywhere around OKC really. 

but i am constantly thinking of other things to do and distracting myself.  why am i holding myself back from doing what i love to do?  fear of success?  fear of failure?  guilt?  ugh, who knows.  all i know is i'm letting something persuade me not to get things done.  this period of unemployment is such a blessing really, because i have the time to get products made and explore my options.
sigh...i know i'm supposed to be funny and talk about all the projects i'm working on...but apparently my biggest project is myself.  well, i could psycho-analyze all day...but for now, i better get my Bernina fired up and stitch away.

yep...

yea, i was pretty much right on.  i learned that i shouldn't wear sweatpants to an interview.  that i should treat potential employers with respect.  i should spell-check my resume.  what else...oh!  i now know ALL about how to answer questions about previous felony convictions.  that was a pretty hot topic. 

seriously...this is what it's come to.   

oh boy....

so i have a mandatory appointment at the Unemployment office this morning to complete an "online job search course."  should be loads of fun!  i'm guessing it'll go something like this:  "this is the world wide web.  this is how you send an email.  this is how you post a resume.  this is Monster.com." 
okay, so maybe i'm being a little negative.  we'll see....

another Monday...already?

oy, it's hard to find motivation today!  cloudy weather and a headache lead to me sitting on my keister, watching tv.  not to mention, i've put so much pressure on myself to be productive this week.  it seems i always do this...when i expect alot from myself, i shut down instead of produce....
but saying it out loud (i talk to myself while i type) kinda makes me realize how ridiculous i am.  so instead of continuing to watch countless episodes of "The Baby Story" on TLC (seriously - i don't know what's wrong with me), i'll try to be worthwhile. so how about i cut, sew, job hunt, and maybe make some lunch.

thoughts, reviews and such....

so the past few days have been pretty busy.  did some shopping with Mom yesterday - don't worry, it was only for some necessities!  well, ok...except for the fabric.  we went to this hole of a fabric store on the South Siiide of OKC and found some REALLY cheap stuff. 

on the left is striped silk dupioni that will be great for linings in clutches.  then there was this amazing neutral, printed cotton with the ships and script (i'm obsessed with ships for some really weird reason). then the orange & white herringbone-ish print and retro zig-zagy trim were only $1/yd!  can't pass up a bargain that has so much potential!

after the bargain-hunting, i went on a "date" with my cousin.  she and her hubby took me to dinner (Iguana Lounge - yum), then she and i went to go see Alice in Wonderland in 3-D.  i'd never seen a movie in 3-D before...and i've really been missing out!  the show was great (who doesn't love crazy Johnny Depp), and the costumes and scenery were crazy amazing. i was totally inspired!  made me want to live in my own fairy tale....

but today i had to snap out of la-la-land.  i had to clean all my stuff out of the ol' Corolla.  since we don't know when poor Lola will be going to that big car lot in the sky, Dad and i are trading out vehicles (until i get a job and can get a new one).  he doesn't travel very far to and from work, and if Lola decides to die on him, he's less likely to be stranded on the side of the road, clueless and crying.   i am seriously blessed to have such an amazing family.  don't know why i'm so lucky! 

handsome men's club

okay, i just have to add this for today - pretty hilarious.  and not bad to look at!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo

jade is the new black

just had to put up a pic of my new favorite nail polish, "Jade is the New Black" from the OPI Hong Kong collection.  i thought green nails might be weird...but i dig it.  very springy.

yep, i have to take delight in the small things.  i hoped those days might be over, because i actually bought a Powerball ticket yesterday!  man, i really thought it was my time!  i was bargaining with God...trying to make deals about how much i would donate to charities.  but alas, it didn't work. oh well...maybe next time i buy a ticket (in like 6 months). until then, i'll continue to talk endlessly to all my family and friends about how awesome it would be to win millions of dollars.  when did i become so illogical?

it's business time....

well, it took me a few days to get over the whole car ordeal.  i mean, poor Lola still isn't fixed...i just had to mentally deal with the fact that i can't take care of everything on my own!  argh.  but here i am, ready to borrow money from my folks and pray and cross my fingers and knock on wood that my little car will last me another year or so after i replace the engine! 

also, i've been a busy little bee in my "studio".  i've made a few clutches that i'm pretty excited about:

it's just a start, so i need to keep sewing and build up an inventory. the plan is to give out about 10 free samples to friends and people-who-know-people. i'll give them some cards with my etsy site (soon-to-be-built) and contact info, and then i'll make a million dollars! okay, that might be a bit of a jump...but hopefully i can sell some and pay the bills! :) and most of you guys reading this blog are the ones who get a freebie! so start thinking about to whom (is that proper grammar?) you can show off your hand-crafted designer clutch; who will in turn envy you so much they just have to have one (or ten) of their own!

when it rains it pours....

today is no good. i've got a sinus-infection/allergy thing, and i'm stuffy and my chest burns. and i started hearing a knocking noise in my car yesterday, so i took her (Lola the Corolla) to my trusty car-fixer-guys this morning. turns out A) i had to have the right CV-joint-axle-whatever replaced, because my wheel was literally about to fall off (who knew?) and B) i need a new engine. yep, i said a new engine. how much does that suck? $2,500 worth, that's how much! i'd rather buy a new car since Lola has 130,000 miles...but who's going to finance a loan for an unemployed, single designer? no one, that's who! so, luckily i have very gracious and loving parents who are willing to loan me the money. but i HATE not being able to take care of myself. worst. feeling. ever.

on the positive side, the cutey owner of the car place said he really liked my hair...so at least he threw me a compliment while ruining my day! (btw, my hair does look pretty cute today. my new bangs are awesome- hmm, i need a new pic- and i've got loose, slept-on curls...always better the second day.)

but i did get to see my perfectly wonderful, brilliant niece this morning. she's 15 months and she's hilarious. and beautiful. and makes me smile. and i'm having dinner with my best buddy, who is in town. so...i should perk up.
but i still feel like poop. (somebody call the wah-mbulance! as my other beautiful, brilliant niece would say.)

friday

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it"
-Psalm 118:24
i woke up with that little ditty in my head...starting out with a positive outlook today!

i'm sitting in my tiny office/sewing room that i like to call my "studio" (makes me feel more like an artist), listening to my "Sewing Songs" playlist, drinking coffee, and watching Arsala stretch out in the window. she loves to sunbathe.

looks like she's trying to catch the little birds on the curtain, huh?

and here's Cisco, hanging out in the bathroom (can't post pics of one kitty and not the other).

he doesn't really like me to take his picture.....

anyway, today i must finish at least one bag. i'm going out to dinner tonight (Tana Thai...yum!), and would like to start spreading the word about the stuff i'm making! so i'm off....

why why why

why do i sabotage myself? i get distracted by insignificant, forgotten people that reappear out of nowhere, and am too nice (or deranged maybe) to just ignore them! not only do i not ignore them, i respond to them! and then i over-think every word communicated and end up not getting anything accomplished. argghh...dudes.

but, i just created a new playlist in my iTunes that should inspire me to create, sew, and get lost in my own little design-y world. here i go.....

hope

"hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune without the words
and never stops at all"
-Emily Dickinson

TurboTax is awesome!

seriously...i love TurboTax. best way to do your taxes! i just got mine done in 45 minutes. probably could have gotten it done quicker, but i got distracted by my kitties alot. and it only cost me about $50! granted, they went up on their prices from last year...but it's still better than H&R Block!

ahh, relief. bills paid, taxes done...time for din-din and LOST!!!

movies and bills....

so, there's a new creative adventure i've got a small role in - a guy i know wrote a screenplay...he and a group of his friends are getting together to make the movie, and i'm the costume designer! it's actually more like advising on wardrobe since there isn't a budget for clothing. i'll be working with stuff the actors already have, and maybe spending a few bucks at thrift stores. fortunately, the movie centers around a dude who's pretty down on his luck. anyway, i'm excited! i think it'll be an interesting project to work on. i'll post more as it comes along!

well, today is bill-paying day...eek! let's see how much more i can drain out of my checking account....

crisis averted

the doggie went home! his owner finally called me this evening, and now i don't have to worry about my cats suffocating me in my sleep tonight! ahh, aren't happy endings the best?
and even amongst the chaos of growling and hissing animals, i managed to finish the pattern and a rough sample of one of my clutch designs! i'll post pics when i get the kinks worked out.
so, not too shabby of a Monday.

Monday, Monday

oh blog, i didn't desert you! i've just been busy...well, mostly i've been busy procrastinating.

i had a nice, extended weekend with my family and friends. (and maybe a nap or two...so what?) i'd love to tell you all about it - coffee with mom; playing with my amazing 15 month old niece; lunch with my bro, sis-in-law, and beautiful 14 year old niece; movies and cabernet with my buddy; big Sunday lunch with the whole fam - BUT i realize this isn't really the point of the blog!

what i need to talk about is the clutch pattern(s) i'm going to work on today. and the new idea i have for making collages with inspirational quotes. and trying to sell a sculpture i made on eBay. and i WILL. later. after the coffee kicks in and i actually start working on all that.

in the meantime, i'll tell you about the dog i found this morning - which, by the way, i found in front of the gym at 5:00am. yes, i actually got out of bed at 4:45 and had great intentions of working out! instead, i found this shivering, sweet little guy who followed me to the doors and wouldn't go away. i figure if he's willing to go into a gym to get warm, he must really be desperate! SOOOO, poor sap that i am...i took him home. i've posted ads on craigslist, called the animal shelters, and put pics on facebook. somebody better claim him soon! because i absolutely cannot keep him. (my kitties are so mad!) and i just can't afford another animal right now. not to mention my roomie and landlord will not be thrilled.

who could leave this guy out in the cold though?

oh, why do i do this?

but...now i'm going to be productive. pray that this guy finds his home today, please!